Relationships Win Framework - Part 1 Connect

Brad: 00:00:00

Welcome to Student of the Game podcast where we help you master the fundamentals, fall in love with practice, and win at the game of life. I'm your host, Brad Knoll. Welcome to the classroom. Welcome back to another episode of Student of the Game.

If you're new to this podcast, this is a podcast that helps you understand how to win at the game of life. We talk about mastering the fundamentals, we talk about falling in love with practice, and we talk about winning at the game of life.

And the way you do that is through relationships. You see, we believe relationships win. I've been thinking about this a lot lately is how am I going to deliver more content, things that you can use.

You see, I grew up in the locker room. I learned a lot about life through playing basketball. It taught me many, many lessons about life and what I was. I just stayed curious.

And what I learned through staying curious was I became a student of the game. And being a student of the game is when you take that curiosity and you start learning from other people, you start learning from other industries.

There's things that we do in our real estate business that I've learned from medical professionals, through attorneys, through CPAs, and through financial advisors, other services that I study and pay attention to. We have things in our real estate business that we use today. Our team is built off of the framework of successful championship teams.

I don't know about you, but I love watching the Bulls. You know, Michael needed a Scottie, you know, so the way I grew up and the way I saw life, I'm able to use that in other areas.

Whether it be my real estate business, whether it be staying curious about being a parent. But being a student of the game is all about picking up on the clues that is all around you today.

What I want to do is I want to get back and I want to talk about this relationships win framework. It's something that our team has been really focused on this year. Uh, we held a business mixer. We taught it at the business mixer.

And where this came from was I needed a clear, concise way to not just teach our team, but to help me be a better teacher of this relationship based business model. So what we're doing over the next couple episodes is, is I'm going to share with you in detail the relationships win framework.

And where this came from was I was having lunch with a buddy and we just got a napkin out and I just drew this and I said, hey, tell me what you think about this. He was another salesperson. And I'm like, just Tell me what you think about this. People, I.

Good people, struggle with the word sales because sales feels like I'm trying to convince somebody of something. I think the best salespeople in the world aren't trying to convince you of anything. They're trying to help you get what you want.

They're trying to help you make an educated decision. They're trying to help you save time, reduce stress during a transaction, and help you keep as much money in your pocket as possible.

And there's a lot of bad salespeople out there. There's a lot of bad salespeople that you can just smell. They. They smell like they just want the sale for themselves.

But the best salespeople are the ones that serve. The best salespeople are the ones that guide you through a process. And so this is where we came up with the relationships win framework.

We use the baseball analogy, and if you can picture first base, second base, third base, and home plate, well, what does every team want? They want a score. They want runs. Well, how do you. Back to the Moneyball theory. How do you buy runs? You got to get on base. All right?

You got to get on base. You got to have at bats. You got to get on base, and then you got to advance the runner to second and third and home plate.

And I'm not saying I'm a baseball pro or understand the game very well, but easy to understand, right? So we created this relationships run framework. If you're watching this on YouTube or seen a clip of it, we drew a baseball diamond.

So what happened is I was at this lunch with my buddy who's in sales, and I said, hey, go with me on this. The first step of selling anything is you got to connect with people. You got to connect, right? You got to have some app ads. You got to get on base.

That's just connecting. That is simply connecting with other people. And then what you have to do is you have to take that connection into a conversation.

So all the connections that you're making throughout the day, those are going to lead to conversations. Once you have a conversation, if you're a great salesperson, you're going to pick up on clues that you could serve the other person with.

And then there might be introduction. In my line of work, what happens a lot of times is people say, hey, I need an introduction to a painter. I need an introduction to a plumber.

I need an introduction to a landscaper.

My role in our team, what we believe is one of the best ways to stay relevant and valuable after somebody Moves in is to be the conduit to many great tradespeople so that we can help our clients be confident homeowners. That's our mission. We want to help our clients be confident homeowners.

Long after you move in, we want to stay in touch with you and help you be confident, A confident homeowner. And that's what allows us to continually connect with people, is to help refer them when they're in need to great tradespeople. This is what we do.

So those introductions come. And guess what?

Sometimes those introductions come in the form of when I'm talking to somebody they know, somebody who's going through a lifestyle change that needs to make a housing change. And so that introduction may happen for me. So. So then after the introduction happens, then that's when the sale happens.

And so what I want to do today is I want to talk about the connections. Let's just talk about. Let's just focus on connections. By the way, connect.

The single greatest thing you can do as a human is to connect with other people. I think Covid showed us that nothing great happens in isolation when we are isolated. And it's really easy to become isolated.

It's really easy to drift. It's really easy to not stay in community with. With your closest people. So we need to connect. What is connect? Connect is like getting on first base.

All right? There's a bunch of different ways to do it, but my mentor always says he had this funny phrase, and he said, everybody wants to go to heaven.

No one wants to die to get there. Everyone wants to go to heaven. No one wants to die to get there. I want to have a record year in sales.

But just connecting with people, that seems icky, you know, or, oh, here's a good one. That happens a lot. I don't want to connect with people because I don't have time to go deep. Maybe they don't want you to go deep. Maybe they just.

Maybe you need to put a smile on their face. A good friend in this industry, a good buddy of mine.

I won't say his name unless I need to, but I'll get a random text message from him every once in a while, and it will be encouraging, and it will lift me up. And it always feels like it's at the right time. And I think to myself, he made me feel seen and heard today.

He recognized and he probably sent this to 20 other people. But just because that was. There was a connection that was made, I felt better by myself, and there was no strings attached.

That's the best part about these connections. So everyone wants to go to heaven. No one wants to die to get there. Everyone's have great relationships. It's hard work, though.

Everyone's have great sales. It's hard work. Everyone wants to experience hitting your goals, but it takes work. And so this is something that I really have been passionate about.

The first step in any sale is to make the connection. If I'm trying to sell my children on eating their vegetables, they won't do it.

If I just sit there at the dinner table and say, hey, eat your vegetables. I have to earn that. I have to connect with them. I have to talk to them about school.

I have to ask them about what the things that they're interested in, what those are. I have to spend time getting to know them so that I can earn the right to then say, hey, it'd be a good idea if you ate your vegetables today.

Or fill in the blank. Clean your room, right? Pick up your room, do your laundry, clean up your dishes, all those things. But it starts with connections.

And this is the jumping off part, if you will. I believe that too often we struggle to connect with people because you don't know what to say. Well, then, now you're making it about yourself.

Anytime you don't know what to say, it's because you're making it about yourself. Sometimes a connection is just, hey, I was thinking of you today. Hope you're doing well. No strings attached, connections.

I believe that that's really where it starts. And then, and then what happens is there's something in, in business called the stacking effect. Actually, it's not just in business.

It's everywhere Right now. A lot of athletes I follow, they talk about stacking days, influencers talk about stacking days.

Any line of work, anything you want to accomplish in your life, it's about stacking days. It's about the habits. Atomic Habits by James Clear talks about this very well. It's about doing the right thing day after day after day after day.

It's about stacking habits. And we have something in our business called the stacking effect. And in, in most businesses.

So if you're, if you're in business or if you're trying to find a date, I'm just in a dating podcast, but if you're trying to find a date, you got to connect with people, you know, however, however you do it these days, I don't know. But if you're trying to grow your business, let's, let's talk there, because this is A podcast for small business owners. And. And I'm your coach.

So if I can coach you up for a second, here's something I need you to remember. There's something called your reticular activator. It's that thing in your brain that when you're going through something, you see more of that.

You know, that's. I think neuroplasticity is the. The fancy term for it.

But what ends up happening is the way your brain and the way my brain were wired is that whatever's in front of you, you see more of that. Okay. If you find yourself to be a little more of a pessimistic person, it's because you're finding more things to be pessimistic about.

Not to get all foo foo on you, but the same thing can happen if you're a positive person. If you spend time. I've done this before. I've had seasons in my life, I've done this where I had three gratitudes.

I would write down three things I'm grateful for every single day. And I did this for a while, and I had a great streak going. And what it did is it forced me to find more things that I'm grateful about.

And then it ended up turning me into just a more optimistic, positive person to begin with because I was intentional about it. We say this happens a lot. When somebody's looking to buy a home, they see real estate signs everywhere.

When somebody's looking to buy a home or sell a home, they hear more. People are talking about moving. And this happens with good things and bad things.

As young couples growing up, we have some friends and experience some miscarriages, and then you see more of that. If you are a family member or have somebody going through a divorce, you see more of that. If you have people getting married, you see more of that.

One of the things that Lindsay and I always would joke about, and this has been around forever, is when we're expecting, you see more pregnant people. And then people would say, well, what's in the water? And it's because you just are going through it and you see more of it.

That's called your reticular activator. It's that thing that's top of mind. It creates an awareness to the things that you're thinking about.

The most student of the game is brought to you by Knoll Team Real Estate Home. Our mission is to eradicate mediocre real estate transactions on your largest financial purchase. You shouldn't have to deal with average.

We do this by Helping you save time, reduce your stress, and helping you keep as much money in your pocket as we can.

You can help us out by introducing us to your friends or family who want to make confident real estate decisions, whether buying, selling, building, or investing. At Knoll Team Real Estate, we are connected to a group of realtors who sell one in every eight homes in North America.

If you know someone moving out of your area, there's a great chance we can connect them to somebody we know like and trust. Remember, relationships win. Now back to the show. All right, so let's talk about how that affects business.

Your job is to connect with as many people as you can so that you can be top of mind. That's how the sale ends eventually works. Connect with enough people that over time, you become top of mind.

And now they're going to see more people who are in your space or need your service or whatever the outcomes you're hoping to achieve. But it all begins with a connection. So we call this the stacking effect.

The stacking effect is how many different times, how many different ways can you connect with people? I have a group of people I like to connect with at least every 30 days. They're families, they're friends, they're great clients of mine.

They're just people that naturally, I make my life better. You know, talking to them, connecting with them. I just. I. My tank is filled. And I love. I love connecting with these people. Those are a plus people.

Every 30 days, I'm connected with them. There's other people that I'm close to that I'm like, 30 is a little too much.

You know, I don't want to be that guy, but, you know, at least every 60 days.

And then we go down the line, and this is something that is really important because it's text messages, it's phone calls, it's personal notes, it's emails, it's postcards, it's client events.

And over the course of a year, depending on how many times we're connecting with these people, we're stacking and stacking and stacking and stacking these connections one upon the other. And one of the things that I've heard and we've talked about a lot is the similarities of running a business and being a farmer.

These connections are like the farmer planting the seeds. Okay, I've got some farmers in my life. I mean, we're recording this in Indiana, so it's one of our main industries here.

But think about planting seeds. The farmer plants seeds. Here's Visualize this. The Farmer doesn't know which seed will produce the biggest yield.

He just knows that if he doesn't plant, nothing's going to grow. So how can you talk about growing your business or making more sales or fill in the blank if you're not doing anything?

I now know how many connections I need to make. I've been tracking this for years. I now know how many connections I need to make in order for somebody to introduce me to one of their friends.

And then that person buys or sells a home. And I think this is where the magic is.

The magic is when you think like a farmer, you're just going to keep planting and planting and planting and planting and planting. You don't know which seed's going to produce the biggest yield, but you trust the consistency. And I think the consistency is where it's at.

That's the magic. It doesn't. People are like, oh, what do I say to them? Or what's more effective? Text or phone calls?

Well, one of the things that my coaches and I talk about all the time is serve others is our number one core value. So we ask ourselves the question, what serves our clients the best? And right now, text messages is getting the best response.

If I call you during the day, you're probably like, hey, what's wrong? You know, something going on. But the best form of communication is the one that is the easiest for the recipient to respond. Let me say that again.

The best way to communicate with somebody today is whatever is the easiest for that recipient to respond to. That's where that true connection really happens. But we talk about consistency.

Farmer doesn't plant once he waters weeds, shows up every day, day after day, you know, tending to his field. And we believe business relationships grow the same way. A lot of times we connect with people because we've got our business hat on.

And I think, you know, there's a conversation that's going around. You know, in business, especially in real estate, it's like, oh, do I have a business page or a personal page? You know, for social media?

You know, do I reach out to somebody and say, hey, I'm calling with my business hat on? Or, hey, I'm calling with my friend hat on? You know, at the end of the day, you are who you are. You know, show up as a friend. Show up.

Show up as a friend who does business. And if they know somebody who needs your service, you're right there for them. You know, playing basketball, it was.

It was something that I couldn't do by myself. You know, I needed other People. I needed a coach to push me. I needed teammates for accountability. You know, it's.

There's a lot of individuals, things that can happen with basketball, a lot of individual stats, but it's still a team game. And what I learned is I had to be the first to practice and the last to leave. And the reason I did that is because I had to earn that right.

I had to earn that spot. But what it did is it allowed me to connect with teammates.

You know, I saw the other guys that were there early, you know, I was able to connect with them, rebound for them, you know, share, share. What are you going through? How can I help you? That gave me an opportunity to connect.

And, you know, so many coaches in my life would stay in rebound for me. I remember an assistant coach we had in high school, and he was probably a volunteer.

And to this day, I just remember after practice, I would want to stay and make, you know, a couple hundred three pointers, and he would rebound. He had a family, you know, but he just wanted to rebound. And so that was a way he connected with me. He didn't have to say anything.

He just said, hey, can I rebound for you and help me get better? And that's a connection. And there's so many stories about that.

But I just believe that when we want to connect with somebody without needing to receive anything, I need to receive sales in order to feed my family. I need to receive sales in order to keep our business going. That has to happen. But that's not the reason I'm connecting.

The reason I'm connecting is to build relationships so that people can trust me, so that that way I can serve a community of people in our backyard. A lot of people showed up for me in real estate. I got friends all over the country that show up for me.

And I'm a part of a group called Buffini and Company, where we sell one in every eight homes in the US And Canada. It's a large group. It's a group of people that I've come to become best friends with a lot of these people. I talk to them regularly.

You know, we share stories about business. We keep each other accountable. We say iron sharpens iron. We say that we didn't make that up. Obviously, that comes from a wise man named Solomon.

But the reality is iron sharpens iron, and greatness does not happen in isolation. And so find people that, you know, that you can connect with that, that push you to make you better.

I got a phone call one time from a buddy of mine who's a realtor. And he's like, hey, I want you to be on my board of directors. What did I do to earn that?

He's like, I see what you do with your family, and I just want you to keep me accountable. You know, other people, I've. I've been on their podcast. I've. I've visited them at their home and at their.

At their business so that I could learn from them. And we just connect. I don't know what I'm going to get from them at some point.

But I'll tell you what I tell you what I do have is a friendship, and my life is better because of that. So what does that look like for you? We're going to wrap up here.

This is a shorter episode, and we're talking about connecting and the value of connecting and why connecting is first base. Because nothing happens without connecting. Conversations can't happen until you connect. Introductions cannot happen until you connect.

And you never know where those connections are going to come from. So that's why you think like a farmer. But I'll. I'll challenge you. Do yourself a favor. Make three personal connections a day this week.

As you're listening to this. Make three personal connections a day. Make it in the form of a text message if you want.

Think to yourself, what does this person need to hear from me right now? What does this person need? What do they need? Not, what do you want to tell them? Not what's going on in your life.

You see, most people talk with the anticipation of listening so that they can talk again. And so I would just encourage you. Three people a day. Can you connect with three people? Could you? What.

What would your week look like if you connected with 21 people? That's three people a day. Could be a family, could be friends, could be co workers. You know, sometimes, sometimes I'll just.

I'll reach out randomly to the spouses of our team and I'll just say, hey, I just want you to know so and so is doing a great job. Don't know what you guys have going on, but you know, your spouse is showing up at work and doing a fantastic job, and we're grateful for that.

And it's just a little message that hopefully goes a long way. But pick three people a day. Either text message, send a direct message on social media, send them a personal message.

This happens to me a lot when there's an article in a newspaper that somebody subscribes to. I'll get text messages of articles, whether it's with interest Rates or housing or something to do with the house market. And people are thinking, me.

I'm like, that's awesome. Let me read this article. I'm. I'm touched you thought of me. A personal note, or better yet, a message. Let me tell you what kids do these days.

That used to drive me nuts, but actually, I think they do it better than adults. They FaceTime. They FaceTime kids, FaceTime. I get. I get messages from my kids and they're on FaceTime.

They just want to see my face and they want to have a conversation with me. I have one friend, FaceTime me about a month ago. And after I thought, well, this is weird.

The very first thing that he said when I picked up was, hey, I just wanted to see if you'd pick up a FaceTime call in the middle of the day. But do this. Three people a day. Three people in your life. It could be business or personal, but three people. Reach out to them every single day.

Connect with them and see what happens. See the kind of responses you get. And then before you hit send, take a minute and just think, what does this person need to hear?

Today there was a bunch of layoffs at a. At a place of business. And I've got some clients at work there. So this morning, sent a text message. Hey, thinking about you.

I know there's a lot going on, a lot of uncertainty. Just want you to know I'm thinking about you. If I can do anything, if I can do anything or be of any service to you or your family, let me know.

That's it. And no strings attached. I'm here to help.

You're going to look back, you know, months from now, if you can be consistent with that, you're going to look back and your life is going to be better because of it. So what do we talk about today? We talked about first base. We talked about the relationships win framework.

How do you build relationships in business and in life? How do you win at the game of life? And it's through relationships. Relationships win. Not all relationships win.

If you're not putting in the effort, that relationship's not going to win. Quick story about my daughter. She's playing basketball. Her and her teammates, a lot of offers are coming in, play college basketball.

And one of the things that we talk about is an offer from a college is their way of saying, hey, I want to build a relationship with you. We want to follow you. We want to watch your games, we want to call you. We want to connect with you. And we will build a relationship with you.

And that's what it means. And so I'm teaching her, you know, hey, set a calendar appointment every single week to connect with these coaches. You got to.

You got to learn how to build relationships with them. You got to see who you connect with and maybe who you don't, who wants to build a relationship with you and who doesn't, who's just playing the game.

So in. In many areas of your life, you can find people and ways to. To connect with regularly. So I encourage you to do that.

We talked about the farmer analogy, about how the farmers don't know which seed is going to produce the biggest yield, but they just keep planting and planting and sowing and weeding farming, and the farmers just keep showing up. And I think the superpower, especially people in business that have clients, the superpower is to stay consistent with your connections.

Don't fall off. You drift. We all drift. We all go through seasons. My daughter just graduated. We did a remodel of the house.

There's been a lot going on personally, and it's keep one oar in the water. Just keep connecting. Just keep connecting. So my goal is to keep connecting with you. Keep bringing you this podcast with what we're working on today.

We talked about connections and how important they are. It's the start of. Of a great relationship. It's the continuation of a great relationship.

If there's a damaged relationship, the only way it's gonna be better is if you connect.

Next time, we're gonna be talking about conversations, you know, a lot of character building, a lot of character building between connections and conversations. So we're gonna talk about conversations next time. But remember, relationships win. And in the game of life, relationships do win.

So mastering the fundamentals. What's fundamental about selling is you got to connect with people. You got to fall in love with.

Practice, the practice of connecting, the art of connecting. You got to fall in love with making your three connections a day, your five connections a day, whatever. I know we're all busy. I get it.

Been slacking on this podcast a little bit. I've been busy. But you know what? I'm back. And there are no excuses. There's a pause. There's a pause, but nobody's quitting. And.

And so my encouragement to you, make your three connections a day. Make your five connections a day, and see how that changes your life. Do it with the intent of making somebody else's day, though. Make them smile.

So go connect. But. But if you want to score runs, if you want to win at the Game of Life. If you want to.

If you want to make sales, whatever the outcomes are, it begins with the thing that you can control. Go connect with other people. I enjoy connecting with you.

If you've liked this episode and if it's helped you share it with a friend, do one better screenshot it and tag me on social media. Radnall and in the meantime, can't wait to come back and talk to you more about conversations. That's a wrap. Student of the Game. We're back.

And remember, in the game of Life, relationships win. That's a wrap. Thanks for listening to Student of the Game podcast. Whatever game you are playing, I'm cheering for you. See you in the next class.