Relationship Framework Introductions

Brad: 00:00:00

Welcome to Student of the Game podcast, where we help you master the fundamentals, fall in love with practice, and win at the game of life. I'm your host, Brad Noll. Welcome to the classroom. Welcome back to another episode, and I'm excited to get to part three. Introductions.

So today we're talking about introductions, but I'm going to change your mind on something. We're talking the relationships win framework. And in this episode, it's about third base, or in this case, introductions.

Um, we've heard for so long, referrals, right? I want referrals. I love referrals. The best compliment I can get is a referral.

When my kids get referrals, it means they're going to the principal's office. So we're trying to not use the word referral as much.

And I want to sell you and communicate to you why we need to start talking about the word introductions. But first, let's. Let's revise. Let's go back and remember, revisit, not revised. We're not revising this.

We're going to revisit the relationship to win framework. So we created this baseball analogy. It's a baseball diamond, and first base is connect. We got to connect with people.

We got to get outside of our comfort zone. We got to go connect. Second base is conversation. And last episode, we talked about conversations like, nothing happens without having conversation.

There's no conversion. That happens without conversation. You can't build trust without conversations. You can't build relationships without conversations.

And that's second base and going in between first base and second base. Connect and conversations. That's really where that character piece is built.

You build character inside those first two bases after you have the conversations. Now what's next? Well, if you're thinking about this, you're thinking referral and then sale, right? Well, that's wrong.

That's the traditional way to think about this. We're going to think about this in terms of an introduction. So how do you go from conversations to introductions?

All right, this is where I'm going to maybe change your mind on this or bring a new concept to you. I go back to my vision for this year, and our word of the year, our family word of the year, our company's word of the year is elevate.

Everything we do, we want to elevate. We want to elevate our connections, elevate our conversations, elevate our introductions. Most people are, again, you're thinking referrals.

People still ask for referrals, and that's okay. But what I'm hoping is, I'm hoping that we can shift your mindset to introductions. Because here's the thing.

Referrals happen when somebody's ready in my industry, ready to buy or sell a home, in your industry, it may be something else ready to purchase something. That's when usually a referral happens. But you can't time that. You know, that's an outcome and you can't plan on that.

And so you'll elevate others, you'll elevate your influence if you start giving introductions. You see what I did there? Giving introductions.

So when you hear the word introductions, you think, okay, I'm gonna connect with somebody, I'm gonna have a conversation with somebody, and then they're going to introduce me. And that might happen, but this is a proactive system. This is a giver's system. This is a serve others system.

And what we're talking about today in introductions is about how well you introduce other people to your relationships. I've been talking with a team member recently, and we're going over just some coaching and some sales.

And how do I, how do I get to where I want to go? I want to set bigger goals and have bigger dreams. And I'm like, you got to connect more. Well, first of all, you have more people in your database.

You have to know more people and you have to connect more. And then you have to keep adding and adding and adding this fresh water to your database, and you have to connect with more and more people.

And then you have to have conversations with more and more people. And then at this point, it's like, okay, my sales team and I look at each other like, okay, that's when the introductions start, maybe, right?

Psychologically, yes. The more people you're in front of, the more people you're having conversations with, the more people you're. You're building trust with and rapport.

You will see some introductions. That is true, but that's passive. We're going to stay active. And what's the active version of an introduction?

It's if you want introductions from other people, you have to be willing to go give introductions and add value to other people's lives. If you're stuck right now, if you're listening to this and you're stuck and you want more, more of something, go be of value to other people.

Go give more value to other people. Back in the day, I heard a quote from Rev Run. He said, life gives to the giver and it takes from the taker.

And so if you're thinking about introductions in terms of getting and gaining. I want to get more referrals. I want to get more introductions. That's great, but go give more introductions. Go add value to people's lives.

There's a great song by nf. I was actually. My kids and I were listening to this this week and it just reminded me of this nf. Go look him up.

He's kind of like the clean version of Eminem, but he super deep, super deep lyrics. And one of his songs is called if youf Want Love. It's reflective, it's emotional, and it's a. It's about the cost and experience of losing real love.

It really explores kind of vulnerability, pain, growth and how those are part of the process. If you truly want to. If you want love, you. You really have to give it away first.

And so he has some lines in that song and it says, if you want love, you won't have to go through the pain. If you want trust, you gonna have to give some away. Think about that. If you want trust, you have to give trust away first.

If you want love, you have to give love first. If you want more introductions. You see where we're going here. If you want more introductions, you're going to have to introduce more people.

You have to be the straw that stirs the drink. You have to be somebody who is known inside your database as a connector, a connector of other people.

You believe, and I believe this podcast believes that relationships win. And when you connect with somebody that leads to a conversation and you see a need.

Now it's time to go introduce them to someone or something that can help solve the problem that they're going through. And that, my friends, is the real value of introductions. So this year, our family focus is elevate.

Today's message is all about how introducing someone else might just be the most elevating thing you do this week. The power of introductions versus referrals.

We just talked about that referrals are time based, that somebody has to be going through something in order to get or gain a referral at that moment. Let me, let me walk you through how this works in my business. So for years I kept talking about referrals.

I kept talking about how I want more referrals. I need more referrals. I'm never too busy for more referrals. I want to let people know, like, hey, I'm seeking your referrals.

I'm seeking somebody, you know, who's going through a lifestyle change. I want to be referred to Them so that I can go sell them something, right? That's the mindset that I got into.

And I now believe, I'm now convinced myself, and I'm trying to convince you that introductions are more value based. Anyone can connect. Anyone. Let me give you an example. One of our missions here at Nolting Real Estate is to help create confident homeowners.

Well, that's such a great mission because it doesn't mean I'm going to go sell one more home today. Somebody I sold a home to 20 years ago, if they're still in that home.

If you're listening to this, and I was your realtor long, long, long ago, I want to help you be a confident homeowner. And the way I do that is I can help introduce you to carpet cleaners, I can help introduce you to painters that are really good.

If you get into the place where, you know, you need a, an attorney, right?

Like you've inherited some property or you have a loved one or a spouse that, you know, needs to create a new ownership, you know, in your property, we can do that. We can help you. We can introduce you people. I introduce my, my car salesman all the time to people, you know, financial advisors.

Like, if people are going through something, man, like, we want to introduce you so that you can be a confident homeowner and you can live a great life. And so referrals are timing based. Somebody has to be willing or needing to go through a move in order for me to work with. But guess what?

If I change this around and I'm meeting with somebody for coffee, let's say I connected with you and it was awesome and we were both like, hey, let's go golfing or let's connect over a cup of coffee or let's go to lunch or something. And all of a sudden you see that I have a need. I need somebody who does X so that I can help my clients be more confident homeowners.

I'm not asking you for a referral to a person buying or selling a home right now. I'm asking for an introduction so that I can live out my mission of helping my clients be confident homeowners. All right?

And so referrals are event driven, and introductions are relationship driven. Right? Referrals are event driven. I have to be, you know, ready to catch this person who's ready to buy or sell right now.

You know, here's my business card. No, it's referrals are event driven and introductions are relationship driven. I refer back to the go giver the last time.

And one of the go giver law of influence is your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first. Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.

I don't know about you, but everybody's talking about influencers on social media. There's influencers, there's people who drive the algorithms. That's great. I mean, that's how that system works.

I'm not upset about it, I'm not complaining about it. That's just how that system works. I would rather be influential than an influencer.

And influential is going to continue to add value to people's lives. And so I want to help give more introductions. I can help somebody win immediately. It costs nothing for you to introduce.

It costs you time, don't get me wrong. But you see, that's the golden ticket. If you're going to spend your time helping other people win instantly, you're building credibility instantly.

You're building a relationship. Giving an introduction helps people win immediately. It costs you nothing.

And honestly, the act of connecting others is, I think, one of the most overlooked growth strategies in business today. If you just spent your day, listen to this. I'm gonna pause. I'm gonna come back to this at the end of the podcast. This is gonna be your challenge.

I'm gonna tell you in the middle of the podcast now, too, if you just said, I'm gonna connect three people a day. I want to connect three people that I know to three other people who might need that person in their life to help them win.

You're going to have a great business. You're going to have a great career, and you stack that on day, on day, on day, and after a while, you become an overnight success.

A lot of people ask me, you know, if you want to know how I've grown in real estate, it's simple. I help others win. That's how I mean, it's literally. It's hard, right?

It's hard to do every single day because I have inspections I have to go through and negotiations I have to do and a pricing strategy of how are we going to market this property, Marketing strategies. And we're growing a team, you know, but to simplify how we've gotten to where we are, we help other people win.

And usually that comes through the value of an introduction. Student of the Game is brought to you by Knoll Team Real Estate.

Our mission is to eradicate mediocre real estate transactions on your largest financial purchase. You shouldn't have to deal with average.

We do this by helping you save time, reduce your stress and helping you keep as much money in your pocket as we can.

You can help us out by introducing us to your friends or family who want to make confident real estate decisions, whether buying, selling, building or investing. At Noel Team Real Estate, we are connected to a group of realtors who sell one in every eight homes in North America.

If you know someone moving out of your area, there's a great chance we can connect them to somebody we know like and trust. Remember, relationships win. Now back to the show. How do we do this now? Right, this is one of the things that I've seen recently.

You know, a lot of times, how do you refer somebody? Think about that. How do you refer somebody? How do you like to be referred? How do you get referred to?

You know, that's at the moment of the referral, that's, that's the outcome based. It's time sensitive, it's driven, Right. But a lot of times when the introduction is made for us, it's a group text message.

People are asking me, hey, how can I introduce you to this person? Maybe it's an email. However they like to be introduced. You know, there's a lot of ways people get introduced these days.

Sometimes, you know, you send somebody to their website, you send them a form. We have a questionnaire that we use our online questionnaires. I got this from the medical community.

I mean, I went to the doctor one time to do, I don't know, one of the annual things and they made me fill out this chart, like, tell me about yourself, who are you, whatever. And then what I noticed was when I got to see the physician and we were in there, they knew everything, knew, I think, everything about me.

They had my intake form, the nurse took my vitals and the doctor comes in, doesn't need to spend much time with me and that's fine, great. But we had a high level conversation about everything that they already knew about me based on these things. And we're in and out and that's great.

They have more patients to deal with. I had more people to take care of, help them buy and sell home. And so we use these questionnaires.

So if you want to introduce us to somebody who does need to make a move, great. On our website we do have a click here if you want to buy, click here if you want to sell.

And all you have to do is click on that link and send it to a friend. That's how you can introduce us. But Introductions happen a lot of different ways. There's no pressure from introductions either.

I feel like referrals are like, hey, I'm going to refer you to this person, or I'm never too busy for your referrals. There's a lot of pressure in. I don't know if I'll put my name to that person.

But by connecting and building trust and then having conversations and getting to that introduction level, what ends up happening is I think the walls are down, like the sale's already been made. That's why we tell a lot of people all the time that once the introduction happened, the sale's already been made. Now I'm going to go do my job.

I'm going to solve the problem that this person needs. And it's usually a housing problem. That's the business that I'm in. And so I just.

I feel like when you get to this introduction level, the sale's already been made. Like, let's not dance a little bit and, you know, puff my chest out and try to be the hero.

No, this is the point where I'm going to listen to somebody's needs, assess what's happening, be the guide. You've heard me say that before. Be the guide.

Guide them through whatever problem they're going through, help solve that challenge of theirs, and then rinse and repeat and then connect with them, have conversations with them, introduce them to other people, and then the cycle just continues and continues.

But I think at a very deep level level, one of the things that, from a reflection standpoint, one of our core values, our main core value actually, is to serve others. So I look at this framework through that filter, you know, connect. How does serving others work with connecting?

Well, I think if you connect with somebody in order to make a sale, that's very transactional. That's not serving them, that's serving yourself.

If you connect with them because you believe relationships win, it'll lead to the next phase or the next base, which is conversations. And if you go into a conversation, serving others, you're going to ask more questions than you do talk.

And then if you get to the introductions, which is third base, and you go through that serve others mentality, then introductions has to do with who or how or when do I need to introduce this person that I'm in front of right now, which is one of the most important people in my life, whoever's in front of me, and introduce them to somebody who can solve problems, what they're going through. I think there's a. There's a refinement in ourselves.

If we get through these bases and understand that it's not about us, it is about the other person. There's a refinement. It's almost like a spiritual reflection. Again, it goes back to kind of our verse of the year.

Whoever humbles himself will be elevated. Not true. Not true. If you think that the verse is true, don't get me wrong, but what's not true is if you want to be elevated, you elevate yourself.

No, you humble yourself and then you will be elevated. Being elevated is a byproduct or an outcome of where, where you're posturing your heart and your mind. Giving introduction is humbling.

I really think that it says that this moment's not about me, it's about you. How can I help you? How can I serve you? You've heard me say it over and over and over again.

And the humility is exactly what elevates your reputation, your character. Right? I mean, we talk about character and competence. It elevates your character and then ultimately it helps your business.

Zig Ziglar said something to the effect of, you can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want. Again, that's a byproduct. Sales outcomes are a byproduct of who you connect with. And is it about them? And having conversations. And is it about them?

And today we're talking about introductions. We're talking about introductions and we're changing the word referral. We're not asking for referrals anymore.

If you're in business, stop asking for referrals and start it. Ask for introductions. Ask for introductions.

You're going to see and you're going to find that the, that the people that you are getting introduced to will help you more than anyone else. But what's before then Give introductions. You may not even be in sales. You may be a stay at home mom, you may be a grandmother.

You may be somebody who has a 9 to 5 job that's thinking to themselves, this doesn't apply to me, but I kind of like the juice. I like the motivational quotes. Every once in a while I would, I would, I would challenge you and I would say, find people.

Whether it's the person who you drop your kids off at daycare, like, can you make introductions for them? Like, life just gets better when you're helping other people win. You know, and I've, I've shared that before.

People ask me a lot of times like, how are you? I don't Use the word success, you know, in my business, but, you know, worldly success, I guess, whatever.

Been one of the top 10 realtors for a decade here in Fort Wayne, Indiana. So I guess that's successful in most people's eyes. How do you get there? How do you stay there? Which, actually, that's a more important question.

But how did you get there? What did you do to be successful? It's simple. Help others win. Help others win? How? The acronym for how is help others win.

And it's no different when it comes to introductions. I need introductions to continue to serve my clients really well and to stay in business, to sustain, I need introductions. I need your introductions.

But if I wake up every day and I think about my referrals and my introductions that I'm getting, it is so much harder to grow your business when you're thinking about yourself. But if you wake up every day and you think of, I'm going to introduce three people to somebody of value that will make their life better today.

It could be a coach, it could be a teacher.

It could be, you know, a friend you're talking to who's going through something that maybe, you know, a therapist or a counselor or a doctor that you can refer to them. It helps somebody else's business grow. Introductions, when used for other people to add value to their life, is a game changer.

If I haven't convinced you yet to remove the word referral and start using the word introduction, then you may need to listen to this a couple times. If you know somebody who uses the word referral and they need to hear this screenshot, tag me. Send this episode to a friend.

We don't know if the content we're making is working unless we're getting messages from you either directly on social media or texting and reaching out to us.

And actually, I was on the way to this podcast today, the recording of this podcast today, and got a text from a consistent listener and somebody I would consider a friend. And it was just. It was really good to. To see that people are listening and. And that we're helping. We're helping others win.

So we're here to help you win. That's what student the game is all about.

We're here to master the fundamentals, fall in love with practice and winning at the game of life and mastering the fundamentals of the relationships win framework. One fundamental is introductions. I hope you master that. I hope you fall in love with introducing more people. I hope you.

I hope you become a connector.

I hope you're somebody who, at the end of the day, you are, you are just as excited to, to help other people win as you are to seeing yourself win and winning at the game of life. We already know what that's about. It's about relationships. So today we've covered a couple things.

We've covered the fact that, well, first you need to go listen to nf. So first of all, whatever music store you, you go to, go to the music store, look up NF if you want love. And I'm telling you, it's so good.

My kids were blown away when they actually read the words, if you want love, you're gonna have to go through the pain. You know, if you want trust, you're gonna have to give some away. If you want introductions, you're gonna have to give some away.

You're gonna have to give a bunch of introductions.

Hopefully I've encouraged you to stop using the word referral, start using the word introductions so that you can win and more importantly, you can help other people win. Because when you help other people win and you believe that relationships win, it just is going to come back to you.

You give it out in slices, it'll come back in loaves. That's the episode today, part three of the Relationships Win framework. It's all about introductions.

Who can you introduce so that other people can win?

And I promise you, if you're following this framework, if you're connecting with people, if you're having conversations, if you're introducing other people at a very high level and you're consistent with it, you're falling in love with this process, you will win, my friend. That's a wrap. Appreciate you listening. We'll see you on the next one. Thanks for listening to Student of the Game podcast.

Whatever game you are playing, I'm cheering for you. See you in the next class.